Holidays

Timicists love holidays. As a Timicist, you don't have to give up any of your other traditional religious or secular celebrations. But you can now add the following celebrations to your repertoire. And remember, as a Timicist, you can choose to observe these holidays to the extreme that you're most comfortable with. Follow the spirit of the holiday rather than the letter of it.

Timicism is always looking for suggestions, so if you have a great idea for a holiday, post it here.

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Day of Reflection
January 1

This is a day when the Timicist looks at his life over the past year to reflect on all the new experiences he had, the things he learned, the people he met, the relationships he forged, and just takes a moment to assess the year as a whole. This is a pretty subtle holiday, with no real rituals or celebrations, just quiet reflection.

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Surprise Day
Sometime in February (floating holiday)

February is the most depressing month. Although it's technically the shortest one, the end of winter seems to drag on forever, with no end in sight. You're ready for spring already. In the meantime, liven up your life with a surprise.

This is a day when you do something nice for someone special in your life. Buy them a gift, cook them dinner, paint their garage. Whatever you feel like doing. But it has to be a surprise. Pick any day in February and make it happen. Shout, "Happy Surprise Day!"

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The Ides of March
March 15

A combination of Valentine's Day and Groundhog Day. Timicist lovers will drink Kahlua & Cream and make out on the couch/futon.

If your relationship casts a shadow, you only have six more days together. If not, you renew your relationship for another year and acknowledge the anniversary of Julius Caesar's assassination. In the case of a relationship shadow, you have six days to think of all the nasty breakup things to tell your lover on Chest Day (see below.)

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(Get-It-Off-Your) Chest Day
March 21

This is the vernal equinox, the day when the sunrise and sunset is approximately the same all around the world. In the Northern Hemisphere, it is the first day of Spring. This is a day of renewal, of rebirth, of shaking things up. So the Timicist celebrates this with Chest Day.

This is a day when you get things off your chest. If there's anything you've wanted to tell someone for a long time, but just didn't have the nerve, today is the day. Gay children come out to their parents, lovers admit to infidelities, you finally ask your boss to stop calling you "asswipe" in front of the other workers. The idea is that, by bringing these issues up, you will be able to start a meaningful dialog about them that will lead to a better understanding between you and those around you.

And it doesn't have to be confrontational. You could use this day to reveal a longtime crush on a friend, or to tell someone close to you how important they are to you. The point is that you let things out and stir things up.

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April Honest Day
April 5

In response to that other April holiday where people take great joy in lying to, and making fools of, the people they love, this is a holiday dedicated to NOT making up stupid shit.

On this day you are encouraged to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.


For more background on this holiday, see this Timblog post.

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Unpluggathon
May 1

My brother Dan came up with the inspiration for this one. For one entire day, from midnight to midnight, you are not allowed to use any electricity or modern battery-powered or gas-powered machinery. Lights, television, heating, fans, computers, refrigerators, freezers, cars, life-support systems (okay, life-support is the exception) are all verboten. (Regarding refrigerators: you don't have to turn them off, but you can't "use" them in the sense of getting something out of it.)
On this holiday, reading and storytelling are encouraged. Timicists are encouraged to get together with family and friends, grill over a open fire, drink some beers (no electricity needed for beer!), tell stories and talk about how much they'd really rather be watching TV. This holiday is meant for us to confront our dependence on electricity and consider the fact that 99% of the history of humankind occurred without any electricity whatsoever.

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Outside Day
June 21

From sunrise to sunset, you are not allowed to be inside a dwelling (house, apartment, office, building, etc.) You have to go outside and be there all day long. It doesn't matter what you do: play a sport, take a walk, fly a kite, barbecue, swim, sunbathe. The point is to get your fat ass out of the house and enjoy the world outside of four walls.

In addition to being outside, you are not allowed to watch TV, use a phone, listen to a radio, or engage in any typical activity that you do inside a house. You can use your car to get to where you want to go, but driving all day in a car doesn't count as being outside. Using inside plumbing is also allowed, as long as you don't spend all day there.

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Harmless Whim Day
June 28

On this day, Timicists are encouraged to indulge in any trivial vice, as long as it doesn't harm others. Eat fatty foods, smoke, drink, nap, watch bad TV, read trashy novels, break dance, whatever. The point is to enjoy yourself without guilt and/or shame.

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Clavicalia
Aug 1 - Sept 15

The month and a half that make up Clavicalia are set aside for the Timicist to take inventory of his body. Each day, pick a different part of your body and appreciate it. Admire its beauty, think about what it does for you, and where you would be without it. Your clavicle, your uvula, your phalanges, your spleen. (Your genitals only count for one day.) Don't take these things for granted.

This is also a period of your life where you try to restore some balance. If you're too involved in one thing, try to take some time off from it and reconnect with other people/interests.

Other holidays within Clavicalia:

Housewarming Day (August 15): Appreciate your home. Do something nice for it. Clean it, repair something, clear out the gutters, paint something. Dedicate the day to your house.

The end of Clavicalia, on September 15, is when we commemorate Blogston, the day when all seven chapters of the Book of Timicism 3.0 burst onto the Blog of Timicism in rapid succession, between 5:22 a.m. and 6:20 a.m. (although the content would not be made public for a few weeks after that.)

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Spawn of Santa Day
Sept 25
This is a day to celebrate life. Specifically, it seeks to acknowledge all of the children born exactly nine months after Christmas, but it's not limited only to them. It's basically just a day to go out and get drunk or do whatever it is that you do when you cut loose. Karaoke is encouraged.

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Pluggathon
November 5 (Or nearest convenient day)

Also known as Slugfest, Slothmas, Couch Potatotopia, and Slackerday, this holiday is intended for you to plant yourself on the couch, loveseat, or la-z-boy, and watch TV or videos until your eyes bleed.

Playing computer games all day is also acceptable. Timicists are discouraged from getting out of their pajamas or taking a shower. Only eat when you have to, and preferably, it should be leftovers. Minimal cooking is allowed on this day. This is a day for all of us to get in touch with our Inner Sloth. Also, it's a good excuse to finally sit down and watch those six movies you've been wanting to see but never have time for.

Strangely, this appears the be the holiday that Timicists have most consistently celebrated since its inception. For an example of what goes on, see this account of it.

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O-Fest & Abstentia
December 14 - 21/22

O-Fest is a day when all the Timicists of the world are to come together (literally) through simultaneous sex acts. Held near the Winter Solstice, the longest night of the year in the Northern Hemisphere, all Timicists around the world should make a coordinated effort to be "doing it" at the same time. Preferably with a partner, but if none is available, you can still play the solitaire version. That time is:

Greenwich Mean Time, U.K. = 5:00 am, Dec 22
Eastern Standard Time, U.S. = Midnight, Dec 21/22
Central Standard Time, U.S. = 11:00 pm, Dec 21

And the corresponding time in all the other time zones around the world.

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In order to make this celebration extra special, Timicists are to abstain from all sex acts for the week leading up to the O-Fest celebration.* This week is called Abstentia. This will enable you to enjoy and appreciate the experience, as well as the institution of sex, that much more. It's also a good time to reflect and appreciate your sex partner, toy, or appendage (whichever applies to you.)

* It has been brought to my attention that abstaining for sex for one whole week could go against the Harmlessness tenet of Timicism. So if going celibate for an entire week will cause you harm, then choose your own length of Abstentia.

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