Timicism Vs. Christianity

Or: Why I Am Not a Christian

Dislcaimer #1: This page refers to a certain, some may say extreme, understanding of Christianity. I acknowledge that not all Christians are the same, that there is a huge variety of beliefs and practices among them, and that no one brand should be used to represent all of them. This page explains why I, personally, am not a Christian. I have nothing against people who find spirituality and fulfillment from the teachings of Jesus, per se. Really, some of my best friends are Christian.

Disclaimer #2:The following objections are not necessarily specific to Christianity, but apply to organized and dogmatic religion in general. I use Christianity as the sample because it's the one I know best. I was raised Christian, I live in a predominantly Christian country, and I am surrounded by Christians. But it is not my point to say that Christianity is any more, or less, deserving of criticism than any other organized religion.

I grew up in steeped in a major devout religious tradition. As a boy I went to mass every Sunday and attended Catholic school for six years. I've read the Bible and feared Satan. I used to wonder how anyone could possibly not believe in God. Then I grew up.

So why did I feel the need to create Timicism? Why didn't I stick with the religion I was given?

Here's why.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

There are some really great things about Christianity. In theory, one would have to wonder how anyone could not choose to be part of a philosophy of love, forgiveness, humility and equality. But theory and practice often don't work well together, and I see Christianity, as it is frequently practiced, as an excellent example of this.

The short answer to why I'm not a Christian is Christians themselves. When I look at what's being done and said in the name of "The Lord" I see Christianity as a club I don't want to join. I've spent my life battling the hypocrisy, arrogance, hate, oppression, and materialistic self-interest from people who claim to follow Jesus. People who violate all the tenets of Timicism: accept doctrine without question, are not fair or consistent in their thinking, take themselves too seriously, do much harm, and choose violence over love. If these are the people who Jesus chooses to represent him, then he's not the God for me.

My theological objections to Christianity fall into four categories: God, Jesus, The Bible, and Prayer. The following is just the barest outlines of my complaints.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

God

As I stated in the Metaphysics chapter, I don't believe in an anthropomorphic God-- one who has human characteristics. It doesn't make sense to me that a "perfect" creator of the entire universe would be made in our image. The Bible is full of God's love, wrath, sacrifice, grace, vengeance, forgiveness, etc. These are all human qualities and experiences, which make him out to be a character in a human drama. A perfect God would not have human conflicts and motivations. Christians scorn the old Roman and Greek myths with their multiple gods who quibble and jockey for power. But really, how is the God of the old testament any different, aside from the fact that he lives alone with his son and a wisp of smoke?

They say that God created humans in his own image. Considering all the possibilities of the universe, that seems pretty arrogant and unimaginative. As Carl Sagan pointed out in Cosmos, if we're the only intelligent life in the universe, what an incredible waste of space. What makes us think that we're so special as to be God's favorite? That he created everything just for our benefit?

This view made sense when you consider where it came from. Thousands of years ago, people couldn't really conceive of a world much beyond their own region, not to mention the entire planet. For them, it made sense that they would be the center of the universe, because their "universe" was so small. Today, we know better. The notion of God being a kind of super human is outdated.

And when you evaluate the God of the Bible as a human, he's not even a very decent one. He's a bully with a lot of issues of control, revenge, anger, and a sick sense of loyalty. If a human king were to act that way, he'd be a tyrant. Demanding that a subject kill his son in order to test his loyalty? That's no king I would vote for, as Michael Palin would say.

Intellectual Christians will often say that God wants us to use our brains (the brains that God supposedly gave us) to think logically about the viability of Christian theology, and not to just accept it without evidence. Aside from the fact that that totally contradicts the whole idea of faith, this makes God like some professor who claims to want honest dialogue, but in the end, if you don't agree with him, if you don't reach the "right" conclusion, you'll get a bad grade. People don't learn under threat of coercion like that.

For a humorous spin on this, see God Diagnosed With Bipolar Disorder.

+++++++++++++++++++++

Jesus

I believe in Jesus. I believe in him the same way I believe in the Buddha, Charles Darwin, Susan B. Anthony, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, and Albus Dumbledore. All revolutionaries who had new and profound ideas and/or challenged the unjust system of their day. I appreciate Jesus' message and think the world would be a lot better off if more people followed his example. But I don't believe that he was the literal Son of God, and I don't believe he had a monopoly on righteousness.

Christians will tell you the only thing you need in order to be "saved" is to believe that Jesus was literally the Son of God; that he is the only path to God. My response to that is: Why? Why does it matter whether or not I accept Jesus' divinity? Let's assume that I agree with Jesus' basic message and try to be more like him. Why does it matter if I buy the theology or not? What does God, or Jesus, or the world for that matter, gain by my believing this one point?

Many conservative Christians I know would have nothing to do with Jesus, a brown Jew from North Africa, if they met him in person. He challenged authority. He stood up for the little guy. He preached love and forgiveness. He fought against The Man. Let's face it: he was a hippie. A foreigner. A socialist. He was an egalitarian in a strictly hierarchical society. He dared to treat beggars, sinners, and women as human beings.

It's so ironic to me that the people who throw Jesus' name around the most tend to be the same people who don't get what he was about. Within a highly rigid, authoritarian society, he preached compassion over rules. He emphasized the spirit of the law over the letter of the law. And now modern Christians have taken his message and done exactly what he preached against: focusing on obsolete rules rather than on compassion. They do everything they can to hold on to their power and protect their own interests. Oppress minorities. Persecute the weak. Wage war. They have become the very hypocrites that Jesus was trying to reform.
From The Onion: Christ Kills Two, Injures Seven In Abortion Clinic Attack.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

The Bible

Too many Christians take the Bible way too seriously. It has some good parts, but for every piece of real wisdom in the Bible, there's ten times the amount of stupid, irrelevant, contradictory, outdated, weird bullshit. People who would never think of reading the tax code or an unedited captain's log of a 17th-century Japanese sailor base their entire lives on this equally byzantine, tedious, and eclectic collection of writings. But Christians assert that the Bible is the infallible and eternal Word of God, so let's examine that premise.

If the Word of God is infallible and eternal, then what's the deal with all those Old Testament rules? The ones about not eating pork and stoning your neighbors and not wearing clothing with two kinds of fibers? Why do Christians (the ones I know, at least) eat pork? The answer, of course, is that Jesus came along and wiped the slate clean. He said all those rules were a lot of hooey.

Okay, fair enough. So then why is it still in the Bible? Why is it still considered the Word of God? Is the Word of God wrong? But that can't be, because the Word of God is eternal and infallible.

The Bible was put together, compiled and edited, around the 4th century, A.D. So where's God been since then? He hasn't had any new Words for us in 16 centuries? Are we to believe that God inspired all those thousands of pages of Words and then hasn't published anything since then? Is he a recluse like J.D. Salinger or what?

If you're familiar at all with urban legends, you will quickly see how many "absolutely true!!!" stories you've heard in your life are complete fabrications. We live in a scientific age where people are generally skeptical of bullshit, and we still get suckered by urban legends. Even I do, and I look out for them. It's human nature to make shit up, and it's human nature to believe it. That's why we need Science-- a systematic way to observe and test the truth that doesn't merely depend on people's faulty memories or perceptions.

The events of the Bible happened 2,000+ years ago, when people didn't have these hangups about scientific accuracy. They aren't even urban legends, they're just legends. And the Jesus stories weren't written down until at least 40 years after his death. Forty years? Seriously? You ever play a game of "telephone?" Imagine forty years of that!

If the Bible really is the eternal and infallible Word of God, then why can't people even agree on its message? Christians argue about the Bible all the time: what certain passages mean, what God is really saying. I would think that if God really wanted you to know something, he'd be clearer. Why would he make his message so inscrutable? You'd think that God, the Omnipotent Creator of All Heaven and Earth, would be a better communicator.

It reminds me of the shows I've seen about ghosts, UFOs, Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster. Ever notice how there's never a clear, unambiguous picture of them? It's always grainy, blurred, or fuzzy. The evidence is always weak and left up to interpretation. I think if the Bible were truly written by God, its meaning wouldn't be so murky and ambiguous. You'd know exactly what God wanted.

Perhaps these sentiments can be best summed up by an article I read in the Onion titled Mistranslated Myths Of Nomadic Desert Shephard Tribe Taken At Face Value.

+++++++++++++++++++++

Prayer

Prayer as a form of meditation is fine. If you are praying in order to center yourself, get in touch with a higher plane, empty your mind, or feel the presence of God, I'm all for it.

But when people start using prayer to ask God for special favors, I get annoyed. If God really intervenes to help someone's team win a game, find them a mate, or keep all their family and friends healthy and happy, then I'm pissed off. I'm pissed off because God's playing favorites, and random favorites at that, because there are tons of people who pray and their lives are still affected by illness and misfortune.

When I was a kid, we used to say prayers at bedtime, asking God to bless specific people or family members in general. I always had a real hard time drawing the line at who should get included in my prayers. It didn't seem fair that only those people who knew me, and therefore were included in my prayer, should get blessed. My prayers would start off asking God to protect my parents and brothers and sisters, then my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, then friends and acquaintances, then everyone that I know, and by the time I was finished, I would be asking God to bless everyone in the world. Even then, I sensed that it didn't seem right that I should ask God to favor some people over others.

I understand the psychological appeal of believing that there is a supreme being who's going to protect you and look out for your best interests. The problem is that sometimes your best interests are at the expense of someone or something else. This kind of thinking is fine if you live in a world where other people and groups are outside the scope of your God. But when you believe in one God who created the entire world, you have to acknowledge that he should be there for everyone, not just you. The mindset that God is looking after your best interests at the expense of other people is selfish and immature. God is there for the whole world-- he has no business blessing America.

So in the Timicist framework, prayer as a request for good fortune is considered a superstition. I still do it. Not consciously, but I do often wish for good fortune. I see it as an appeal to Fate, which sometimes blesses me and sometimes doesn't. I try to appreciate the blessings and learn from the misfortunes. But I'm not arrogant enough to think I deserve good fortune just because my imaginary friend is better than yours.

What does the Onion say about prayer? God Answers Prayers Of Paralyzed Little Boy: 'No,' Says God

+++++++++++++++++++++++++